Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Lock-Down Ex Love

There I was, watching TV yesterday, just got off the phone with my sister who gave birth the previous day, and I see a fuckin BLOCKED number on my phone. I dont know about ya'll, but I dont do those. Let me know who the hell you are. But this person called me 3 times back to back. So thats when curiousity got the best of me and I answered it. WHY did I do that? On the other end is this nigga I use to talk to. He's locked up!! He's been locked up for the past 2.5 years, and I cant even front, there was a time when I was fallin for this nigga BADDD. Even after he got locked up, I still saw no one else for me (me and my nigga who I'm with now were nowhere near the level we're at now). I did everything for him, trips to Rikers Island and Sing Sing Prison, letters, puttin money in his damn commissary, EVERYTHING.

Make a long story short, I didnt want to deal with the bullshit of that kind of relationship and decided we were better off as friends, if that. He was very understanding of that and backed off a lot (thankfully). He still wrote me from time to time and called every once in a while, BUT it was always on some friendship shit. So initially, even though I didnt want to talk to him when he called me yesterday, I assumed it was JUST to see how I was doin. Nah, this nigga started talkin about old times and how he misses me like crazy. He went on to say that I should reconsider being with him. Reconsider what? Shit, I'm good where I'm at. And besides that nigga still got another 4 years to do. He even said he had dreams of us gettin married (whoa dude).

But for some reason, I cant get him off my damn brain now. All day at work, the convo is replaying over and over in my head. Why did he have to fuckin call me? I'm in love with a great dude and we goin real strong...I dont need this! There's parts of me who will always care for him and want to know that he's okay, BUT thats where it ends. I've moved forward and just CANT go back.

I know a lot of ladies can relate!!


- juicee . hoe said...

dudes be tryna qet in ya head at the worst time , deff can relate mama

hot paqe

Anonymous said...

Definitely can relate to this. Bu I have to say theres a reason why you two are not together, so just keep that in mind. niggas always wanna try & get they shit together when they locked up. BUT when they get out its a different story.

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